Remembering Isaac

Right before I went on to speak at the NSB conference in November I was so overcome. I remember Rachel asking me if I was nervous but it wasn’t that…it was this incredible desire to steward well what I believe God had called me to. It brought me to tears. She gathered a bunch of…

Our sweet Elijah boy is home sick with me today. He woke up coughing more than usual with a low grade fever and feeling dizzy and nauseous. He slept all morning on the couch. That is when I know he isn’t ok, when he hasn’t asked to watch tv or electronics! About 1 pm he…

We went to church this morning. I thought I was going to be ok but once I got there I couldn’t stop the tears. The first song we sang was “Raise a Hallelujah.” The best I could do was hold out my hands, close my eyes and let the tears come. “I’m gonna sing in…

In some ways it feels like a lifetime. In other ways just like yesterday. On the Friday before we found out I had my hover board accident. I had texted Isaac and told him because I knew he would get a laugh out of it. His response was to ask if I had at least…

Journal entry April 23, 2019… Psalm 47:1 Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud shouts of joy! Lord I read back a year ago on my journal entries and can’t believe the hurt we were walking through. Thank you for sustaining us Lord. I know that we are not promised tomorrow and…

Tonight it is New Year’s Eve. Typically we try and do something fun with the kids. Last year we went to our local Aldi that had just opened and let them each buy some fun snacks. We had meat and cheese and crackers, fun cookies and sparkling grape juice. We watched a movie and the…

Last night we watched the movie Flubber together as a family. We needed something light and funny to occupy our minds. Of course even that is a stark reminder of our reality….the lead actor in the movie being Robin Williams, who himself struggled as Isaac did, and took his own life a few years ago….

My friend Rachel took a few pictures at the funeral yesterday….and I am so glad she did. Now I wish there were more honestly, I have been writing so much as a way to process but also because I don’t want to forget. She snapped this shot of me during one of the songs. It so deeply…

Today was the first day that we didn’t have anything to “do.” The visitation and the funeral and done, thankfully the storms that have been swirling all around us stayed at bay and everyone was able to get home safely either last night or this morning. It is Sunday and while we would normally go…

Well Isaac, we did it. Each step in this process has been so hard and brought about new waves of grief and tears. Today was no exception. Your dad said it best that there was only one person in the world like you. You were funny and quirky and made us laugh we are so…